Through my Looking Glass

by Stella James

Sometimes the most difficult things to write about are also the most essential. I feel this is especially true when many people, much more scholarly than oneself, have already said and written a lot around the issue, and yet your own experience does not seem to fit into the wide net that they’ve cast. Gandhi once said “I have something far more powerful than arguments, namely, experience”. And it is from these words that I derive what I consider the ‘value’ of this piece – not my experience per se, but from what I feel that my experience can tell us about much discussed issues in the country today.

Tenniel_red_queen_with_aliceLast December was momentous for the feminist movement in the country – almost an entire population seemed to rise up spontaneously against the violence on women, and the injustices of a seemingly apathetic government. In the strange irony of situations that our world is replete with, the protests were the backdrop of my own experience. In Delhi at that time, interning during the winter vacations of my final year in University, I dodged police barricades and fatigue to go to the assistance of a highly reputed, recently retired Supreme Court judge whom I was working under during my penultimate semester. For my supposed diligence, I was rewarded with sexual assault (not physically injurious, but nevertheless violating) from a man old enough to be my grandfather. I won’t go into the gory details, but suffice it to say that long after I’d left the room, the memory remained, in fact, still remains, with me.

So what bothered me about this incident? As a conditioned member of the society, I had quickly “gotten over” the incident. But was that what worried me: that I had accepted what was essentially an ‘unacceptable’ situation. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that the crux of my unease lay in my inability to find a frame in which to talk, or even think, about my experience. While the incident affected me deeply, I felt little anger and almost no rancour towards the man; instead I was shocked and hurt that someone I respected so much would do something like this. My strongest reaction really, was overwhelming sadness. But this sort of response was new to me. That I could understand his actions and forgive him for them, or that I could continue to think of him as an essentially ‘good’ person, seemed a naïve position that were completely at odds with what I had come to accept was the “right” reaction to such incidents.

This emotional response was also completely at odds with the powerful feelings of righteous anger that the protestors in Delhi displayed. I am not trying to say that anger at the violence that women face is not a just or true response, but the polarization of women’s rights debates in India along with their intense emotionality, left me feeling that my only options were to either strongly condemn the judge or to betray my feminist principles. Perhaps this confusion came out of an inadequate understanding of feminist literature, but if so, isn’t then my skewed perception a failing of feminism itself? If the shared experiences of women cannot be easily understood through a feminist lens, then clearly there is a cognitive vacuum that feminism fails to fill. Feminists talk of the guilt a woman faces when sexually harassed, like it is her fault. I felt a similar guilt, except, my guilt wasn’t at being assaulted, but at not reacting more strongly than I did. The very perspective that was meant to help me make sense of my experiences as a woman was the one that obscured the resolution of the problem in my own mind, presumably an effect that feminism does not desire. And if not a result of feminist theory itself, the form that it has taken in India, especially after recent incidents of sexual assault, strengthened the feeling of “If you’re not with us, you’re against us” in a fight that I feel I can no longer take sides in.

All the talk during that time was of stricter punishment, of baying for the blood of “creepy” men. Five years of law school had taught me to look to the law for all solutions – even where I knew that the law was hopelessly inadequate – and my reluctance to wage a legal battle against the judge left me feeling cowardly. On reflection though, I cannot help but wonder why I should have felt that way. As mentioned earlier, I bore, and still bear, no real ill-will towards the man, and had no desire to put his life’s work and reputation in question. On the other hand, I felt I had a responsibility to ensure that other young girls were not put in a similar situation. But I have been unable to find a solution that allows that. Despite the heated public debates, despite a vast army of feminist vigilantes, despite new criminal laws and sexual harassment laws, I have not found closure. The lack of such an alternative led to my facing a crippling sense of intellectual and moral helplessness.

The incident is now a while behind me, and they say time heals all wounds. But during the most difficult emotional times, what helped me most was the ‘insensitivity’ of a close friend whose light-hearted mocking allowed me to laugh at an incident (and a man) that had caused me so much pain. Allowing myself to feel more than just anger at a man who violated me, something that I had never done before, is liberating! So, I want to ask you to think of one thing alone – when dealing with sexual violence, can we allow ourselves to embrace feelings beyond or besides anger, and to accept the complexity of emotions that we face when dealing with any traumatic experience?

Image courtesy: here.

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223 Responses to Through my Looking Glass

  1. krishna says:

    Women in Mahabharata reveal to men in general that they are great teachers of life and relationships. A French friend while she was in Delhi once told me that one ex AG/SG had made amorous passes at her in French language at an environmental film festival. She described him as a ‘lech’. Toxic conduct of senior members of bar and bench need to be rigorously documented by their subordinates. This hold true for all the professions…journalism, politics, bureaucracy, corporate sector, NGOs. You seem like a brave women from Mahabharata. May you always remain so. Your choice of words is without malice despite facing having been violated. Bible aptly states, “Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned”.

  2. Raj Kumar Chouhan says:

    Stella, We are stand with you.

  3. Girish Menon says:

    At least after ten months you had the courage to tell about it. What you have done is a great contribution towards prompting the SC to take some action. This would, to a great extend, save many other girls from similar exploitation.
    Any girl who may or might have, come across such situation should react immediately or in case of helplessness, after the incident- tear off the masks of those VIPs – they should not feel safe just because the girl submitted herself and a girl will not stake her reputation. You have been violated ; not committed any sin.

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  5. Tigya Jain says:

    If it is true, than It means the Evil things may enter into the human minds at anytime when he find a isolated place. The only treatment for this is that , It should be hadled carefully , immediately and wisely with a plan among confiedential & faithfull personnels to catch the such Evil things which is reported now very late. so the isolated places be avoided by females because it is very difficult to establish the Evil things as proof in the court in the absence of any witness.

  6. Abhishek Khare says:

    I am also preparing for law school!
    i know it is difficult
    but u must fight!
    I dont know about any one one else!
    but i am with u!
    the whole country is with u!

  7. Mohan says:

    Stella, all that I can express and wish is that you take this fight, now that you have initiated the first step, to its logical conclusion and, more importantly, see to it that the Supreme Court in order to ensure real freedom of speech to the people in general & young girls in particular, abolish the evil shield called: TRUTH IS NO DEFENCE IN PROCEEDINGS UNDER CONTEMPT OF COURT … I wish you success and assure you of support of all the people I know …

  8. sidayers says:

    It sounds like you are afraid of the consequences of speaking out against this man. You “bear no ill will” towards him? That’s hard to believe, and if it’s true, it’s deeply troubling. His “reputation” and “life’s work” are completely different things; if he violated you (especially if you made it amply clear that it was against your will), he HAS to face the consequences.
    It’s possible that he’s assaulted several girls before and since. You do NOT need to play devil’s advocate (for example, saying you were “not physically hurt, though”). But fear holding you back from confronting a man in a position of power, that I can understand is a major roadblock.

  9. Stella, As a member of the legal fraternity i show my solidarity to your cause of justice. May you be able to withstand pressures and stick to the truth.
    Navkiran Singh Advocate
    General secretary
    Lawyers For Human Rights International.
    Chandigarh. INDIA.

  10. Nidhi Parashar says:

    I think I appreciate how you feel.. hope you feel at peace now..

  11. Kaveri R I says:

    More power to you for speaking out – and yes this will help avoiding other students being subjected to this man’s assaults. The emotions that sexual assault leave us with are indeed often complex and often surprise us. I actually think the guilt about not being more angry is just a form of survivor guilt – where after an assault we examine our own behavior, whether pre or post assault and subject it to scrutiny. Guilt confers agency back to ourselves. I also wonder we have also felt guilty because much of our preconceived notions of outrage come from movies and tv shows which are not remotely made by feminists.

  12. smita verma says:

    stella , kudos atleast u gathered the courage to speak now at least..better than maintain silence and suffer the humiliation…why cant we break this internalized chain of silence and speak just there and then…

  13. We indians are the biggest hypocrites . . . amazing that from nirbhaya’s uneducated monsters to pervert buddhe supreme court judges all are morally depraved . . . bc itni aag lagi hui hai to legalize prostitution in a big way par nahi tab inko hinduism, raamji yaad aa jaayenge . . . fuck this system.
    that girl must be in her 20’s n that retired “judge” is the age of her grandpa!
    even junglee ppl hv better sense of rite/wrong 😦

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  15. Stella , kudos to the amount of courage you took for letting this grave incident come out in public. The question is not about being physically hurt , it’s about the violation that was caused. And he needs to pay for that . You could pave way for all those innocent victims who fail to muster courage and let themselves be exploited in the hands of such perverts. let nothing stop you.

    • Sujatha Natarajan says:

      Stella, my heart goes out to you. But, it’s dreadful feeling to realize that despite tall talks by protesters or the upholders of law nothing ever happened or will happen. Everyday gory incidents happen and we hear them or read about them like any other headline or story. So long as one is unaffected nothing really matters, I suppose. I sound cynical; but, no one really cares for anyone. Even leading dailies do not want to publish articles which contain too many harsh truths or strongly worded protests. I only wish women had the power or right to injure the criminals there and then, by some means – say, a really sharp instrument like knife or some chemical that could injure the person for life.

  16. M SHARMA says:

    Stella around the time you were experiencing the factum of being a victim of sexual harassment I was arguing before the DB in the High Court of Delhi in a sexual harassment matter that was 13 yrs old.
    Stella I appreciate your concerns and confusion and also wonder whether I did what I did -that is complain and go to Court as well. would it have been better slapping the debased man instead instead of being slapped, ostarcised, rapped by my organization?
    As an educated woman I believe that you should speak out however painful the journey may be given the ethos and law implementation in this country. Now that the matter is in the open please go ahead and speak out. I have fought a sexual harassment case in court for the last 14 yrs and still am.
    But I still feel that every pain and effort i experinced/took/put in was for the betterment of women in the country-because now the Railways have the committees(how good they are depends on the people), the High Court has a separate Court for such cases as mine LPA took 8years to be decided and WP 5 yrs.
    I was hounded within the organization, ill-treated, victimized instead of being treated with dignity, ostarcised but I had pledged to defend the cause of women less well placed than me as I am a senior civil servant and lucky that my family and friends supported me right thorugh. But a clerk in the office or a steno/Pvt Secetary have to face much more. Its an old boys school syndrome that one faces in such situations after one complains.Even women colleagues for their personal benefits of promotion,postings will not support you.
    One cannot protect such debased people who try to harass however good they may be professionally. Otherwise the CBI director should be forgiven for the disgusting remark that he made. It’s time women in this country spoke out and fought hard to be given due respect and to be treated with respect.
    I wish you well and am there if you need me.
    You can go through the DB judgment-LPA 489/2004 of the High Court OF Delhi dtd 21.12.12. The Division Bench judgement is indeed something that saddens me everyday though -the order was : :
    1.that my complaint is not false and if enquired into the accused would have faced adverse consequences. The Supreme Court said officers of Indian Railways would go to jail when it dismissed the Railways SLP in Aug 2013 this year..
    2. That salary be paid from 1998 and Compensation of 5lakhs and litigation costs of Rs50,000/-only (dunno when the Courts will become real) whereas I spent far more and am still spending
    2.a. Even though my slalry was wrongly stopped,I was transferred after I complained though I didnt ask for the same, I was forced to proceed on leave without pay, penal rent was imposed malafidely, transferred 17 times in 15 yrs , not allowed a steady tenure posting anywhere, called litigative, not to be talked to, even now male officers dont want to talk alone with me in the office, other male officers think they can get away with cheap talk as no one will listen to my complaints yet No officer was held responsible by the H’ble Court even though compensation was awarded and both the Committees were quashed.
    2.b. The organization held two illegal inquiries at the behest of one of the witnnesses who was also the Genral Manger and not competent to do an enquiry or order/nominate one,
    3.. The wrongly appointed Fact finding Committee and even the Standing complaints committee did not follow any procedure of inquiry yet no one was taken up, The Complaints Committee called same witnesses and copy pasted report of earlier committee and yet the H’be Court held that the inquiry was done de novo-truly the papers I submitted on affidavit were not read properly.
    3. the Sexual harassment committee was of officers junior to the accused yet found in order
    4.payment of my unpaid dues for 15 yrs was ordered but without interest.
    5.The accused was made Chief Personnel officer and he was judge in his own cause.
    6. the accused was officially represented during service and after retirement by the Counsel for Railways before the High Court and even in the Supreme Court he was represented by the Solicitor General-a shame indeed.
    5. Compensation awarded was 5lakhs for a trauma i have been going through for 15 years without salalry and yet I fought the case on my own after trying to seek help from lawyers and even lady lawyers.
    6. I amd now arguing the Contempt case I had to file in Feb 2013 as the salary ordered to be paid on 21..12.12 has not been paid and the matter is pending for orders of the Court for the last 9 months. The Railways were ordered to deposit my slalry in Court which they did partly and recovered about 7 yrs of HRA paid to me asint all rules . I’ d be lucky i get a deicsion on 22.11.2013 the next date of hearing or within 2/3 yrs. The Contemnors are sitting ensconced in their cushy offices and I ahve to waste money,time,effort and my leave for every hearing-there have been 4/5 hearings till now and yet no compliance of the Court’s orders.
    Should I appeal against the High Court order -yes I do so want to but do not have the strength left to pursue the matter indefinitely for years as Justice in pour country is badly delayed.
    I do wonder that if the Committee of Judges of the Apex Court gives a report not acceptable to you where do you appeal, what is the legal recourse available thereafter? I believe the matter should have been dealt differently.
    I do fear for your career prospects and what you will have to go through but we have to bring about a change for our younger generation. I have started a campain againsts sexual harassment in India on FB where like-minded men and women are going to put heart, mind and soul together to fight this social malaise.(
    You may join if you want to.
    Best wishes
    Mrs Sharma

    • Vallal says:

      My heart goes out to you Mrs. Sharma. I would not like to use empty words ” courage ” “bold” to you, as you are a iron-willed lady. You are one of the blessings for the women of our society. Keep fighting!!

    • Savita - name changed says:

      Dear Mrs Sharma,

      I thought I am the only women fighting against sexual harassment at workplace coupled with corruption at every level.

      Women who speak have to face the ordeal of going through the courts as if she herself is the criminal.

      As you rightly said, if the committees set up by High court and Supreme courts are giving biased and one sided report without considering the documents and evidences submitted, then where to go ?


  17. Vallal says:

    Stella DO Not Fear! You have taken the Bull By Horns – fight that pervert till the end! You ‘ll end up saving and sparing Lakhs of Young Indian girls from vultures!! Counteless woman and girls now look themselves in you! You must avenge the sick men of the society for all of those helpless, faceless, powerless woman subjected to sexual assaults evveryday!! Exemplary courage and will to fight!

  18. Rajendra S Desai says:

    This is a serious matter. The entire judiciary all over the country has been tarnished and is in deep …t . The reputation can be salvaged only if prosecution is launched against the Judge mentioned in the blog. To preserve the so called reputation which is mud today the enquiry panel who are brother judges will try their best to exonerate. But the normal law of the land proclaims that such an enquiry is not on any statute book and the said persons know not what they are doing. The provisions of the code of criminal procedure empowers the police to record an fir. Normal citizens who molest are arrested and police use third degree methods to bring out the truth and the evidence. Under which law or judicial system in this country can these lords of the Supreme Court can be spared the usual rough methods of investigation ? Some top lawyers should enlighten the public. A few slaps while in custody and minimum third degree methods will result in proof and evidence and it is high time such steps are taken by the police to prove to the common man that everybody is equal. Even if the girl interns don’t come forward when adequate proof is collected and public opinion is channelised they will depose and justice will be done. The laws of rape and molestation are not applicable only to godmen and politicians or only to common citizens but also applied to the high and mighty. Why are all the top women’s organisations , political commentators. NGOs and their champions of women’s rights silent spectators is a question which nobody seems to be answering. The police who are empowered to act must show guts arrest the judges and set the law in motion so that public confidence is restored in our legal system

  19. ashi says:

    stella, what u want to calm ur anger & beware others,i think u sc took it in its knowledge $ let it inquire.but u saw it also that in many fields there r many others who adopt short cut to get some advantage of their seniors.they make vision to treat everyone like the same.u r a girl of values.values always saves everyone & teaches us to treat with sentence is not the way to end crimes ,its forgiveness what made u great & shame to others.everybody knows d reallty of society so weldone to put one of that truth.u r a girl of dignity so put an example of not sacrificing ur dignity.

  20. Menaka says:

    Dear Stella

    Hats off to your bravery. I am a lawyer employed in a well known corporate and have faced a similar situation like yours, with an older man, old enough to be my grand father , who is the company’s top most Legal Advisor. Though there was no physical violence, sexually coloured comments were rampant. Even on confronting him he has not ceased. I have still not made an official complaint for lack of evidence and fear of loosing my career. I am angry and ashamed of myself. But one fact stands Lawyers and members of the Legal Fraternity have always believed that they are beyond Law. It is this very attitude that has led to members of the Legal fraternity on and off the Bar, to dare to indulge in such activities, because they know they can escape the clutches of Law.

    I appreciate your team for standing behind you. There are hundreds of Lawyers like us, who stand behind you.

    • M SHARMA says:

      Dear Menaka
      Keep your mobile ‘on record or video mode ‘and tape his remarks/comments.You even get pens that can be used which have video cameras and voice recorders-do so and you have evidence.Is it worth taking the nonsense from your boss/boss’s boss and demeaning yourself everyday just because you are a lady? No. you should not .
      Dont be ashamed of yourself.
      We are with you.
      M Sharma

    • ferdous a mohammad advocate says:

      dear , you must not absorb non sense at any point, there is no reason to continue with it. purchase a Dictaphone manufactured by Sony to get a clear record of the non-sense and believe me it will fetch you a concrete evidence against the pervert. let the perverts know that their actions are being recorded so that they stop themselves from getting caught.

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  23. onkar singh says:

    Stella, you have done a great job towards concept of freedom of women by exposing monster sitting in the temple of justice.

  24. Angela says:

    You know your experience helps me relate to mine. Quite the similar case. I was an intern back then, in a very reputed Institute of mental health. There was a Psychiatrist whom I respected and learnt a great deal from throughout the training. On the last day, I went to thank all mentors and that was when he became one of the ‘creepy’ men. A man who tried to get more than a ‘Thank you for being so awesome at your job’. My ‘insensitive’ close friend laughed it off too, but I couldn’t feel comfort in that.
    So that being said, reading your description of what feelings you went through, is liberating. Thank you, though I don’t know you.

    • roopa says:

      Absolutely no comfort in helplessness due to the high and mighty creeps around us.Overwhelming sadness at our belittlement and dishonor is what everybody feels in such situations.

      • Neha says:

        I always wonder why men do this? Do they have such deep contempt for women that they are completely blind to the suffering they inflict on women?
        What kind of depraved man enjoys humiliating a woman?

  25. Sherry says:

    Doesn’t surprise me one bit. While the lady admits that litigation is one profession where such behaviour is rampant, it’s pretty common in the corporate world as well. A Senior Vice President in a leading Indian firm ( Wipro BPO, Delhi) where I have worked was infamous for his disgusting , unwelcome & incessant sexually overt comments & jokes. The HR though led by a lady herself was too apathetic & inefficient to pay any heed to the repetitive complaints by the female staff & continued to ignore it for over 8 years ! I think it just may be time to name & shame the culprit in public.
    – yet another victim .

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  28. Raveessant says:

    Sexual offenders generally get away, because the wronged acquiesce to it. Eventhough, your statement is tad bit late, it is quite understandable and excusable, since you have been alone in this. I am thrilled that you could not muster the courage to complain. Justice will prevail for you and truth will eventually emerge and the spot light will shine on this person who hides in the shadows.

  29. Parambir says:

    Kudos to you Stella for speaking out….its never too late on such important issues. The judiciary in general and judges of SC in particular are living with an aura of invincibility….they consider themselves above the law. It is time to show their real face and therefore this particular gentleman(??) needs to be named and shamed….you are being too decent. That such incidents are rampant in the higher judiciary speaks poorly of people who fight for or dispense justice. Also what is most disturbing is that this is happening in, supposedly, one of the pillars of our democracy. How low can we morally sink????

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  31. Raveessant says:

    Might I also add that a large body of lawyers from our fraternity and other professionals living in India, believe everything that you have written and stand ready to fight for you and help you secure the ends of justice.

  32. B. Basu says:

    I write this, Stella, to applaud not just your courage, but also to applaud the way that you have handled an unsavoury matter with dignity, common sense and honour despite the emotional upheavals it has caused.
    As a man who is probably as old as the Judge, your blog prompted me to look into the looking glass myself and the man I saw was a bewildered man. Bewildered because the more I read your blog to understand your feelings, the more confused I became. It seems so difficult for me to comprehend why you find the memory of the incident so abhorrent and yet look upon its perpetrator without rancor and with much greater sympathy than he probably deserves. Living in times when the world mostly sees in black and white and has lost its ability to distinguish the shades of grey, in my thinking, there seems to be no scope for reconciliation though I try to fathom the various nuances of the emotions that may have passed through your mind to reach this Gordian Knot.
    But I am happy I did look into this metaphorical mirror because that is perhaps the only way to see your soul. Thus your blog has set me off on a journey to understand my own mind better. I now comprehend your emotions in this matter with better empathy: but I still cannot resolve them.
    Thus, even more than justice, I wish you peace of mind.
    God Bless.

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  36. Vallal says:

    You see Stella – How you have indirectly helped another poor soul, under immense pain and pressure, to come out and hit back against the against the powerful perverts (Tehelka Journalist)!!! Your actions will not go in vain and u ve become a torch bearer because of ur bold actions. I believe, as CJI said yesterday, you WILL get Justice. We support you, We believe you. Keep up the fight!!

  37. Dear Stella James – now that you have expressed dissatisfaction and humiliation by the
    3-judge panel of the SCI, my suggestion is that you write to the CJI that you would be constrained to file the FIR naming the judge to maintain the majesty of law and the SCI. Because, at stake is working women’s safety and dignity not only in the SCI, but other courts too throughout India. Not naming a judge or taking action against him also means defaming other SC judges who retired recently. It also means the SCI is trying to protect the accused, which itself is not proper. If you so wish I can represent you at the next hearing, if any.

  38. Mtiku says:

    Dear Stella,

    Being a woman I reckon that be it even the ‘smallest’ of incidents, we do manage to shrug it off but it stays on in our minds and also goes on to contribute in fostering hatred for all men and becoming judgmental. Coming out of the closet to relate an incident of such a nature is the bravest thing we can do. I congratulate you for doing so.

    Being a member of the law fraternity as yourself, I congratulate you for bringing about a movement in the much needed cog wheels of justice for women in India. I hope this fire, that has taken so long to get ignited, does not get doused out unless it devours the evil it has set out to destroy….. Amen.

  39. Namit Verma says:

    You have started on a path of allowing morality to unravel and explain itself to you. Towards achieving that end, the path chosen by you and the stand taken by you thus far are steps in the right direction. But your self-expressed need to find closure is a contradiction of both your morality and your courage. It will probably take longer for you to find closure than the duration of the present inquiry or even the sentencing of the judge concerned. You have embarked on a journey of education and will probably learn that a system like ours is a mockery of justice. And what may we expect from a judicial system which has chosen to become the last defence of that depraved system? Everything in this country has begun to come apart. Our learned Prime Minister also confessed a fortnight ago that forces were pulling the country apart from inside. Justice is a divine prerogative rarely doled out in exact measure by the courts who are bound by laws arising out of a system which is essentially unjust. Try to find understanding and not closure and maybe, just maybe, you will get early justice. Your natural good self has allowed you not to harbour a sense of bitterness; but you also show the weakness of allowing yourself to be led by others opinions, this weakness has made you turn the anger internally upon your inability to become vindictive vis-a-vis the predator judge: this is a negation of the great strength in your character and the moral sanskars that you have the good fortune to have inherited, imbibed and/or inculcated. The humbling of the retired judge will offer him an opportunity to reflect upon himself before his life is over, it is almost as you have offered him an opportunity to improve his life. What I would recommend is, don’t have too much hope from this system, don’t invite the poison of bitterness that you don’t feel into your life, remain detached and learn about humanity and justice; maybe, some day you will make a good judge, and God knows, we desperately need them.

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  41. Abhijeet says:

    Its very unfortunate that we are discussing something which is very serious in nature. One part is that the Judiciary of India is blamed, for its system, the other is Student of law, who had a vision in this profession, third the future of the action that might be taken… future the girl student wont take any risk to be a intern …as the Committee who recommend the student are all in dark, the intern should discuss with them who recommended and is sole responsible …

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  45. gal says:

    I remember going to a govt office for my father’s work. There was this around 55 year old officer who helped me a lot but later something didnt seem right – he was sitting too close all the time, asked me if I had a boyfriend, what do I think about live in relationships etc, was staring at my breasts continuously and ‘told’ me that he will take me out for dinner in the night!!I somehow I managed to get my work done and managed to escape from there, but I felt really bad. I was 22 and he was my father’s age. As stella says here – I did feel violated but more than that I was sad for that man and his family.

    I never told my parents because I dont want them to think that girls are a liability and can never do all the work boys can do.

  46. Hemendra Narayan says:

    This is M SHARMA to Stella James on November 16, 2013 at 12:44 am

    “I do wonder that if the Committee of Judges of the Apex Court gives a report not acceptable to you where do you appeal, what is the legal recourse available thereafter? I believe the matter should have been dealt differently.”

    Sharma was more than prophetic.
    TODAY( DEC 5,2013)
    :Chief Justice of India P Sathasivam says in the order, “We have carefully scrutinized the statement (written as well as oral) of Ms. Stella James, the affidavits of her three witnesses and the statement of Mr. Justice (Retd.) A.K. Ganguly. It appears to the Committee that in the evening on 24.12.2012, Ms. Stella James had visited hotel Le Meridien where Mr. Justice (Retd.) A.K. Ganguly was staying to assist him in his work. This fact is not denied by Mr. Justice (Retd.) A.K. Ganguly in his statement.” Further the Committee is of the considered view that the statement of Ms. Stella James, both written and oral, prima facie discloses an act of unwelcome behaviour (unwelcome verbal/non-verbal conduct of a sexual nature) by Mr. Justice (Retd.) A.K. Ganguly with her in the room in hotel Le Meridien on 24.12.2012 approximately between 8.00 P.M. and 10.30 P.M.”

    But the CJI’s order goes on to read that “considering the fact that the said intern was not an intern on the roll of the Supreme Court and that the concerned Judge had already demitted office on account of superannuation on the date of the incident, no further follow up action is required by this Court.” ( Courtsey:

    Where does one go from here?

  47. srujan says:

    Newton once said that he was standing on the shoulders of giants. Most of those men that came before him were just as close to solving the problem of gravity as well but Newton happened to be the one to finally resolve the phenomenon in mathematical terms.

    Its a choice you have made. Whether you like to hear or not, you have chosen the whistleblowing path to solve the problem of discrimination and assault Another lady would have kicked him in the nuts, which the judge might never talk about outside. Yet another lady might instrument the scene the next time around with a webcam and completely expose his misbehavior. Now you need to go on to prove that this method of yours works and solves the problem, as opposed to the law, which also happens to be your profession, where by the way, you are going to find conflict. Make your method work, make it the norm. The world will come by your side.

    I am not your Dad or a friend to offer solace. I stay a neutral observer and I might have chosen the same path if put in your situation. I will never know.

  48. Pingback: The Adsaver News – India sex case judge faces no action

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